To be honest, it wasn’t quite as fun as Miss San Martin 2010. It was a more formal affair this year: the venue was more sophisticated and ticket prices were higher, so a smaller crowd. The between-rounds entertainment was good (especially Tarapoto’s break-dancing group, an incredibly talented bunch of guys), but there was a distinct lack of humour.

Last year, we had the risqué and very funny Thalia Tarapotina, a local drag queen of some repute. She/he was “unavailable” this year, following his/her arrest for child prostitution. Very odd.

Miss San Martin 2011 in Photos

Anyway, the beauty queens were the main attraction, and they were as smilingly wonderful as ever. I edged my way into the press pit at the side of the stage, settled in and waited for the show to begin…

And there it was… In a blaze of light, music and denim shorts, the contestants shimmied onto the stage, teeth gleaming through bouyant smiles.

Following on from the initial introduction was the swimwear round, an eternal crowd-pleaser of universally accepted good taste. It was immediately evident, at least from where I was standing, that the 18-year-old Miss Moyobamba (pictured above and known in the real world as Karen Caro López) was a strong contender for the crown.

After the bikini session, the ladies took to the stage for the eveningwear round. Hands on hips, the contestants strode up and down the stage in an elegant but slightly seductive manner.

Once again, Miss Moyobamba (second from right) was on top of her game. Nice dress, not too frilly, and a posture fit for British high society (she must have been balancing books on her head during training). With the ladies all back in line, it was now time for the dreaded — albeit enlightening — speaking round.

Miss San Martin 2011 was being broadcast live on TV, and the added pressure seemed to have had an effect. The first speaker (above right, microphone in hand) blanked out completely after about three words. The stuttering silence that followed was hard to watch — I could feel her nervousness turn into blank terror as the words just didn’t come. Being terrified of public speaking myself, I felt truly sorry for her. She gave up in the end, but received a “well done for trying” round of applause.

Miss Moyobamba was next; she did a good job, but the nervousness had filtered down the line. Of the 10 contestants, at least 5 struggled to remember their previously rehearsed responses to questions such as “How can we save the jungle?” and “If you become Miss San Martin, how will you save the world?” You gotta love beauty contests…

In the end, the enchanting Miss Moyobamba was crowned Miss San Martin 2011. Hurrah! She walked off with an oversized cheque for S/.1,000, and will now take part in next year’s Miss Peru Universo. Good luck to you, Karen Caro López! What a gal…

• For more photos of Miss San Martin 2011, head over to the Tarapoto Life Facebook page (and don’t forget to “Like” it while you’re there).

The Perú Mucho Gusto San Martin 2011 gastronomic fair was a total success! Well-organized, excellent food and free forks… can’t argue with that. It was a little cloudy on the last day of the four-day event, but the rain held off and the crowds were beaming…

I arrived at Perú Mucho Gusto at about 1 pm, and headed straight into the market area. After sampling some fine Chachapoyas cheeses (and buying a ball of smoked provolone), I found myself standing before a row of four or five stands offering free alcohol samples. Being a connoisseur of free booze, I forced myself to sample a whole range of cocktails, including creamy coffee, cacao and coconut varieties. An excellent start to the day…

Next up was gourmet Monteverde coffee, also from the Chachapoyas area. Good stuff, and a well-placed buffer between the free cocktail samples and the main eating area. Now it was time to get a full plate of food. With 19 or so food stalls to choose from, it was time for some tough decisions…

The ladies at this particular stand were very friendly, but there were two requirements that needed to be met: the food should be from outside San Martin (not much point buying stuff you eat every day) and it should contain meat, ideally big chunks of meat.

This chef certainly met the meat requirements — and the marinade looked good — but I was too hungry to wait. Maybe later…

Above is the stall of La Real Cecina, a restaurant located about five blocks from the Plaza de Armas in Chachapoyas. I’m a fan of cecina, but it’s all too common in Tarapoto. The fish dish looked good, but the smell of meat from the next few stalls had me edging along the line.

Ah, the sweet smell of temptation! But no, it was not an option. This was Tio Sergio’s stand, a well-known purveyor of fine cecina, chorizo and other delights right here in Tarapoto. It looked good, but too close to home…

In the end, I happily settled for some pork from a stall from Cajamarca. And boy was it good. Incredibly tender, full of flavour and accompanied by the best mote (white corn kernels) I’ve ever tasted. Remember that chef with his hands in a table of meat? This was the final product. Sir, I salute you.

There’s no point going to a food festival without getting really stuffed. So when I saw these bits of pork gleaming up at me, I quickly thought of round two. This stall was run by friendly chefs from La Tomasita, a restaurant of some renown in Piura. Feeling adventurous (and already full of pork), I ended up with a plate of goat and rice. The sauce was spot on, but the meat didn’t really float my boat. I’ve eaten goat on a few occasions, and I remain convinced that goats were born to eat, not to be eaten.

Anyway, I left the Perú Mucho Gusto San Martin 2011 gastronomic fair with a great sense of satisfaction. I’d eaten well, I’d had a few drinks and I was thoroughly impressed with the whole event. I also had my ball of smoked cheese to take home, as well as a box of sugar-coated nuts, a mound of shiny new PromPeru leaflets and six brand new (and totally free) stainless steel forks.

All in all, a great day out.

The Festival Gastronómico Perú Mucho Gusto 2011 is all set to take place in Tarapoto from December 8 to 11. This will be the fourth time the Perú Mucho Gusto gastronomic fair has been held outside Lima, having previously taken place in Piura, Cusco and Tacna.

According to the official Perú Mucho Gusto Facebook page, the event will feature 19 food stands representing typical dishes from Tumbes, Piura, Lambayeque, La Libertad, Cajamarca, San Martin, Amazonas and Loreto.

In other words, prepare yourself for a stupidly large lunch…

Alongside the food stands will be a market selling products from across Peru, including cheese, coffee, yogurt, honey, bread and king kong (awesome).

Regional cocktails will also be available (brilliant).

The four-day event will take place at the Universidad Nacional de San Martín from 11 am to 6 pm daily. The entrance fee is an entirely respectable S/.5.

I’ll be there for at least one day. Anyone else…?

I’ve been to two “Miss” competitions in Tarapoto: Miss San Martin 2010 and last weekend’s Miss Teen Tarapoto 2011. The latter was taking place just a few blocks from my house, so I thought I’d take a peek.

Peruvian Time

Miss Teen Tarapoto was supposed to start at 8 pm, which by Peruvian standards translates to 9 pm at the very earliest. Unsurprisingly, my attempts at being late fell way short of the mark. I arrived at about 9.30; an excellent local rock band called Mermelada Pesada was in full swing, but there were no Miss Teens in sight. As it turned out, I had to wait at least another hour for the main event to begin. Typical.

Miss Teen’s Take to the Stage

Finally, at about 11 pm, the eight Miss Teen Tarapoto candidates took to the stage…

The blur of whiteness that followed caught me off guard. Due to some strange quirk of physics, beauty contestants are incredibly hard to photograph, at least for a novice such as myself. The mix of stage lighting and bounding beauties is not conducive to crisp photography. Oh well.

The Teens dropped the pace a little for the obligatory bikini round, perhaps due to the drop in temperature. By Tarapoto standards, it was quite a chilly night. You certainly won’t see me strolling through the streets of Tarapoto in a bikini at 11 pm, not even on a Saturday night (not sober, at least).

The event flew by in no time at all, much faster than the Miss San Martin contest. After the bikini round came the “questions” round. “Who do you most admire?” — “Is the environment important?” — “Should children go to school?” It was all very enlightening, but it was over in a flash. After two hours of waiting and 30 minutes of contest, we had our winner and runner-up….

And there they stand! To the right is the newly crowned Miss Teen Tarapoto 2011, 16-year-old Nicolle Arce Saldaña. To the left is the second-placed Danae Ruiz Arévalo, also 16. Well done ladies! Nicolle now has a chance to become Miss Teen Peru.

Right, that’s all for now, although I do have more photos and a couple of videos that I might publish in the near future. I don’t have much time right now, however, as tonight is the big one: Miss San Martin 2011. I need to blag a press pass…

At last, the silver screen looks set to arrive in Tarapoto (in Morales, to be precise). According to the Interactiva Radio website, construction of the new 1,000-seater cinema is nearing completion, with the doors set to open to the public in early 2012.

“The business initiative will use digital technology, incorporating 3D projections, acoustic amphitheatre and a giant screen,” says Interactive Radio. It will be located within the Club Posada de Morales, a space typically reserved for weddings and other functions.

According to the article, Edilberto Laban, the owner of Club Posada de Morales, has invested more than US$300,000 in the project. I assume that includes the cost of a decent air conditioning system — otherwise, we could end up with a large and surprisingly comfortable oven.

I’m hoping it will turn out well; I’m a big fan of the cinema, so this is news of knee-trembling proportions. I might head down to Morales and ask for a sneak peek — I’ll let you know if I manage to get inside.

Just kidding — that would be weird. Anyway, I take a ridiculous amount of sunset photos from my open-air fourth floor dwelling (I live on a roof), so I thought I’d share some. If you’d prefer a poem, let me know…

Tarapoto Life was born on September 20, 2009. In all that time, this blog has probably earned me about US$20 — that’s less than I pay each year for hosting it.

I never set out to make money from Tarapoto Life, so it’s no great problem — but it would be nice to break even.

I did ask (half-heartedly, I admit) some local hotel owners and tour agencies if they’d like to place adverts on Tarapoto Life, but it didn’t really work out. The only hotel that did give it a go ended up shafting me out of one month’s payment (I think I was charging about S/.20 a month for a sidebar advert, about US$7.30). That put me off a little — I prefer writing to chasing debts.

Anyway, there is a point to all this. I’ve just set up the “Support Tarapoto Life” page, a cunning attempt to actually generate some revenue from this little blog.

There are more details on the support page, but here’s the basic deal: if you buy stuff on Amazon, it would be sensationally brilliant, perhaps even epically brilliant, if you could buy it through this blog. That way, I earn a tiny bit of affiliate revenue, which, over a year, could potentially pay for my hosting.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask in the comments section below. Thanks!

Can’t Think of Anything to Buy?

In case you can’t think of anything to buy right away, I shall now try to sell you stuff that you probably — almost certainly — don’t need. Here we go — just click the image to start shopping (these are also affiliate links):

Here we have the Tarapoto Mug, a sleek item with an ergonomic design. With the same print on both sides, you can enjoy the word “Tarapoto” (written in very modern capital letters) and the Peruvian flag from a variety of angles. Only available in the USA due to stringent mug laws in the UK.

Next, we have the breathtaking Tarapoto Mouse Pad. Yes, it is as good as it looks. Imprinted using the latest sublimation technology (seriously, that’s what it says), this item is perfect for the modern home.

This set of four Tarapoto Mini-Mousepad Coasters will revolutionize the way you live. Sleek and unashamedly sexy, these coasters will wow your guests: “Wow,” they’ll say, “this homeowner is a classy and highly intelligent person with impeccable taste.” Oh yes.

I really don’t have much to say about Waikiki. The “cebiche especial de Waikiki” (S/.16) was average — too raw for my taste and with little evidence of anything “special”.

The jalea mixta (S/.20) was, in a word, pathetic. This plate of oily, heavily battered seafood now takes the crown of worst jalea mixta ever. The chef even managed to make the fried yuca disgusting, a skill that can only be mastered after many years of neglectful, passionless cooking.

Everything looked and tasted like it had been prepared days earlier, frozen, then lackadaisically refried before being dumped on a plate and smothered with diced onions. Even now, an hour after eating, I’m finding it hard to shift the taste of this monstrosity, whose bulk I left half-uneaten on the table.

Cebicheria Waikiki… Don’t go.

Possibly the worst jalea mixta in Peru.

The Monsefú Restaurant in Tarapoto

Monsefú is located at Jr. Abancay 445, down in the Barrio Huayco (in the lower end of Tarapoto). It sits on a wide but nondescript street, well away from the buzz of the town centre. The quiet location doesn’t appear to be a major problem in terms of customers — the place was reasonably full when I walked in at about 1.30 pm on a Sunday.

A smiling waiter quickly approached, asking where we would like to sit. There were plenty of options — Monsefú is a big, high-ceilinged establishment with two large rooms, both packed with wooden tables and fringed by rustic decorations. Despite being quite dark inside, the restaurant has a comfortable atmosphere.

Seated, our attentive waiter quickly brought two menus and a plate of cancha (toasted corn). The cancha was the best I’ve ever tasted. The only drink left was chicha de jora, a type of fermented maize drink. Like the cancha, the chicha was exceptional (chicha de jora, when poorly prepared, is disgusting). Things were looking good, so the main meal promised much…

The Taste Test

We ordered a ceviche mixta and a jalea mixta (typically, a mountainous plate of battered or breaded seafood served with fried yuca). I have a slight obsession for the latter, so I know it well. Pollo Marino does a decent jalea mixta, but it could be better (the best I’ve ever had was in Lambayeque, but it’s not really fair to compare coast with jungle when talking about cevicherias).

The food arrived in good time. Taste buds jangling in anticipation, we dug in. And we were disappointed.

Yep, despite the good start, Monsefú was a letdown. The ceviche mixta was average, especially considering the S/.17 price tag. As for the jalea mixta, it was the worst I’ve ever had. The batter was heavy and oily, similar to the batter used on cheap Chinese sweet-and-sour pork balls, obliterating the taste of the individual chunks of seafood within. The large slab of battered fish beneath the smaller nuggets was soggy, tasteless and riddled with bones. At S/.27, this was enough to make a grown man weep into his fermented maize.

Recreo Turistico Monsefú

If you’re on a diet of toasted and fermented corn, then I highly recommend Monsefú. If not, stay clear.

Monsefú doesn’t actually bill itself as a cevicheria, despite the large number of fish dishes on the menu (they also prepare duck, goat and other meat dishes). In fact, Monsefú seems to be in the midst of an identity crisis. Its full title is “Recreo Turistico Monsefú” — recreos turisticos normally have a swimming pool and a few games areas, but Monsefú has none.

I asked the young waiter why it bore the title of “Recreo Turistico…” He gave me a blank stare, seemingly pondering the issue for the first time, and, after a pause, said, “I don’t know, we don’t even have a swimming pool.” Oh well.

The Quest Continues: Recommendations, Anyone?

I mentioned my Monsefú experience to a few of my neighbours. They said it was a good place back in the day (it’s an old establishment), but it’s gone downhill in recent years.

So, the quest continues… Next up is Cebicheria Waikiki, as recommended by my friendly local shopkeeper. I’m wide open to all Tarapoto cevicheria recommendations, so please give me any details in the comments box below. Cheers!

Much to my relief and joy, it turned out to be a televised stage of the Tú Eres la Estrella (You Are the Star) TV show, an American Idol rip-off produced locally. Now, I’ve seen this dance contest on TV and it’s normally quite entertaining. Not as entertaining as the singing version — in which most of the contestants sing like my karaoke-obsessed neighbour — but it’s quite good fun nonetheless.

There are three male judges, two of whom are reasonably polite and helpful while the third (sitting to the left) takes on the Simon Cowell role: mean, pouting, slightly camp. When I went, there was also a guy dressed as a giant chicken, but that’s fairly standard in Peru.

Anyway, four young couples went head to head in what turned out to be the merengue round. I’m not much of a merengue expert, but the couple pictured above quite rightly received the highest scores from the judges. Not only had they perfected the art of the fixed smile, the young lady was also the only competitor to take to the floor in high heels. That is impressive.

These talent shows always need a little bit of drama. Things almost got off to a flyer when one of the guys jumped in the air and narrowly missed landing on his partner’s head as she slid unceremoniously between his legs. It was all a bit of a mess, but she walked away with her head still attached so no great disaster.

The couple above, meanwhile, provided oodles — yes, oodles — of diva-like drama. They obviously didn’t know how to dance merengue, preferring instead to break out some raunchy reggaeton moves. Well, she did — he just walked around without doing much of anything, a fact that Simon Cowell savagely criticized after their performance. The girl walked off in a huff, refusing to talk to her poor partner, who stood around looking glum for the rest of the night (that’s not easy to do in shiny black trousers and a sparkly golden vest — believe me).

It was all good fun — I might even go watch it again sometime. If anyone is coming to Tarapoto and would like to join me, let me know in the comments section below and I’ll find out when the next live installment of Tú Eres la Estrella will take place.